i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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