Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
