Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
