i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
