he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
