Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
