nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
