Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
