I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
