Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
