So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
