My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
