I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
