I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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