you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
