They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
