oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
