I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
