Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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