I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
