How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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