You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
