Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
this hospital has no fireball
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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