when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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