to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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