I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
