You made me cry and you don't even care
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
