If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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