my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
