I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
