Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
