I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
