I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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