Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize