How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
