At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
