I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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