your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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