so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
