you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize