"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
