I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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