You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
