i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
