so that wasnt chicken after all
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
