your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
