playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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