I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize