420 ftw
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize