Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
