The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
