Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
my being single is dangerous.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
