Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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