her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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