Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
