I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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