check it out our google latitudes are spooning
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
