Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
