We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
