Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize