Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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